some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
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I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
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I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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