just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
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im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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