glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Randomize
