i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
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So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
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you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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