Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
