If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
