how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
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