I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
