Sponge bath it is.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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