Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
