Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
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The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
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I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize