Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
