she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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