OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
