There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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