I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
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I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
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