have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Randomize
