I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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