First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
