I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Randomize
