Fine. I'll sleep in my office
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
