Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
