Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.