Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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