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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared

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• (347): View more from New York

  Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one

  (347): View more from New York

  Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...

  (802): View more from Vermont

  do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes

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• (407): View more from Florida

  Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (732): View more from New Jersey

  Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward

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• (318): View more from Louisiana

  would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?

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• (707): View more from California

  Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.

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• (224): View more from Illinois

  I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (214): View more from Texas

  Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall

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• (813): View more from Florida

  I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.

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• (607): View more from New York

  There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.

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