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• (415): View more from California

  I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.

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• (360): View more from Washington

  Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!

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• (765): View more from Indiana

  So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.

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  17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court

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• (512): View more from Texas

  I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.

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  These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men

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• (315): View more from New York

  how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.

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• (305): View more from Florida

  to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter

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• (315): View more from New York

  I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.

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• (337): View more from Louisiana

  It's still 8am.

  (1-337): View more from Louisiana

  Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.

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