Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
