I chose taco bell over sex...
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.