I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.