Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.

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  (804): i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick. http://tfl.nu/aodk
  Replies (2) Good night (1572) Bad night (582)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap

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  (603): just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap http://tfl.nu/im6h
  Replies (11) Good night (2415) Bad night (762)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup

  (303): View more from Colorado

  now he is talking to a potato

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  (303): these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup (303): now he is talking to a potato http://tfl.nu/8rlu
  Replies (8) Good night (3552) Bad night (715)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.

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  (317): its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated. http://tfl.nu/cjuf
  Replies (19) Good night (872) Bad night (2313)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.

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  (406): Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana. http://tfl.nu/lih3
  Replies (23) Good night (1950) Bad night (3132)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.

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  (210): I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time. http://tfl.nu/1zig
  Replies (23) Good night (4979) Bad night (1158)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.

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  (304): You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib. http://tfl.nu/xjlf
  Replies (2) Good night (2488) Bad night (861)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.

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  (207): My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad. http://tfl.nu/6faf
  Replies (8) Good night (4511) Bad night (1098)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.

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  (519): I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds. http://tfl.nu/ynhk
  Replies (3) Good night (1629) Bad night (775)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason

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  (541): I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason http://tfl.nu/z5wn
  Replies (26) Good night (652) Bad night (1713)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.

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  (404): I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success. http://tfl.nu/f7f6
  Replies (12) Good night (3326) Bad night (536)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.

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  (770): I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY. http://tfl.nu/v3bb
  Replies (9) Good night (1287) Bad night (321)
• Favorite

  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities

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  (787): I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities http://tfl.nu/2egx
  Replies (3) Good night (636) Bad night (265)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.

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  (901): I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home. http://tfl.nu/sdsj
  Replies (3) Good night (927) Bad night (279)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?

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  (510): Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you? http://tfl.nu/34q2
  Replies (4) Good night (411) Bad night (668)

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