Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?