you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
3pm strippers are depressing
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
