Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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