What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize