used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
