so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize