I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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