dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
pray to the hookup gods
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize