his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
