only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
