First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
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