Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
It's a yes or no question.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections