I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.