Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?