Pants 0. Shit 1.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.