Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
These Attractive Criminals Got Modeling Contracts After Getting Arrested
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.