she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
