I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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