NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
