When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
