I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
