Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
