Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
