And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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