Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
