If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Everclear isn't food dammit
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
