If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
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