Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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