I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
