I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
You were trust falling into bushes
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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