so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
