dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
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