so that wasnt chicken after all
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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