i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I have grass duct taped all over my body
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
