yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
